GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

UGH Come on. 

My life keeps falling into the shitter. 

So Today I had to work. Turns out im on the verge of getting fired. 

GREAT. This seriously sucks. 

I don't even know what to do -_- everything is so wrong now. 

-_- 

DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

My mom keeps telling me to do my homework.
I tell her I don't have any.
2 hours later
Dad: do your homework....
Me: I DONT HAVE HOMEWORK
Dad: i'm sure...go study....
I have a computer course a gym course and a drama class....
I don't have the software that they do in Comm tech and then I can't practice anything by my self for gym...
and well drama.... not really besides studying lines I don't have... -_-

If you really knew me.

1.I listen to music that matches my mood so I have 10000 playlist on my iPod
2.I'm not a drug addicted and I hate drugs and how they make you feel.
3.I love every genre because music is so beautiful even if someone is screaming.
4.I'm afraid of love. I barely say it to my family members
5. I have a hard time in school friend and education wise... I don't test well
6. I keep losing friends that mean so much to me.
7.I feel this blog is helping me so much because writing means alot to me
8. I have big dreams and I haven't done anything to start making them true
9.Everytime I walk into school my stomach turns.
10. I'm myself and I'm done changing to fit in with my 'friends'

High School Experience - Christina's Story.

Right now I just need to vent.
This is a personal blog about things that I’m thinking about and things that lead me to be so confused about life. To be honest these are not my biggest secrets there are just things I wanted to tell to the world because I’m so done with keeping everything inside my head.

Note: Everything I say is in this blog is from the past.

 If you have the same issues as me comment and just vent as well anonymously or not or make a blog telling me your story! 

Every year around this time of year, my highs turn low and they stay low till mid January (sometimes December)

Ever since high school started, it’s been different.

Summer of 2009 is a summer I defiantly will remember. I had my two best friends and everything was good until fall 2009, I had to go to a different school. I had a learning disability and I was denied to go to the school they went to.

I had a hard time fitting in until I met the right people. It was okay it was just weird I guess going to a new school and everyone knows everyone and you don't know anyone... I got depressed often when I think about it every fall (mostly every fall) I seemed to be more depressed then any other season
Anyways I started to self harm because I didn't know what to do with these people.

Winter 2011 came along I had my first love. He was my best friend he was everything to me and I never wanted us to end I had good friends and still had my two best friends. Spring came along and everything went down because my boyfriend and I were having so many problems fighting every other day and it was a living nightmare. In Summer 2010 the summer was a little better, me and my boyfriend were getting along me and my best friends were better then ever, but when fall came along I changed and I just felt the need to be miserable, I dumped my boyfriend and my best friend and I decided it would be the best if we didn’t see each other for awhile. Thank god I had two best friends because with out the other best friend im sure I wouldn’t be here today.

 Winter came along and everything turned to the worst. I felt so alone. I started to extremely hurt myself. I didn’t go to school for a month because I felt so alone and I thought everyone hated me. I was scared so miserable. Writing this I am actually holding back tears. It was the worst part of my life and I get reminded every day of how much it was. I changed schools I changed my life style and I felt so alone. The only person holding me together was my best friend. I eventually became friends with my old best friend. It wasn’t the same. I look at our friendship on Facebook sometimes and see how much we changed. We used to write on each other wall hack each others Facebook etc. It was just typical best friend things. We changed so much. It was so sad she had different friends. Even though I got along with them it was still different it wasn’t just us. Its hard to explain.

I still had the other girl who was the glue to the paper my jelly to my peanut butter sandwich. She came over when ever I needed a hug she gave me advice (really bad advice) she was so bad at it. Then things got a bit better.

By the spring I felt better… but I was still recovering I had stopped self harming myself. But then I started to abuse food. I was a size 7 to a size 16 in 3 months. I just felt I needed to eat all the time. It was still harming my body but in a different way a way I couldn’t really tell I was harming myself.

Summer 2011 I got a gym pass, and figured out who I wanted as a real friend. I still wasn’t exactly sure. But it was the summer all I wanted to do was have fun and that’s really what I did. I didn’t call people the people who wanted to see me was the people I wanted to hangout with. I had a party and I made certain rules and everyone followed the rules besides one friend but I kicked her out of my life. At the ending of the summer I realise I lost only 6 pounds I was VERY upset about that. I couldn’t find a easier way to

lose a few pounds. I started to throw up my food after I ate. As well I stopped eating for a few days.

I lost my best friend the last two weeks of summer and I felt I just  wasted my summer building a friendship only to find it not working out. It was just like summer 2010.

Right now I’m trying to find a decent way to try to lose weight with out starving or not throwing it back up. I’m struggling with friendships. I walk down the hall ways feeling stupid and like a loser. I’m the only out of my friends who wear size 11 pants and I feel like they always leave me out of things or don’t want me hanging out with them.

But that’s just my head.

My mother and I don’t get along anymore and same with my brother I feel I have to buy my brothers love and to be honest I just don’t feel like I fit in anywhere right now.

I just want my two best friends back I just want to have the two girls I love back in my life who are two from two different groups and have different personality and style but when I bring them together we are like the three best friends.

I want these two girls to be the bride maid at my wedding and the girls who I have Girls night with every Saturday night. I just want all of this to start over and never do the things I’ve done. Right now I just have a lot of regret in my life… I just don’t know what to do with my self….. :/  

Also I'd like to add that I have a twitter account.

@christinauntold

Follow and I'll follow back!

Cheap Halloween ideas!

o    What are you going to be for Halloween?
Do you have money to waste on costumes?

I don’t spend a lot of money on Halloween for the simple reason of I DON’T HAVE MONEY TO WASTE.

These are some good ideas for a cheap and happy Halloween:


The Garbage Bag: with a garbage bag you can do a lot of things
You can make a dress out of it, all you need is some duck tape and a creative mind.
You can be a hobo, just rub some dirt on face and you could look like a hobo.

Old Clothes: what I like to do with some old clothes is that I like tear them also wearing clothes that are to small you can rip them to make them larger so maybe if you rip or tear a shirt you just throw on some fake blood and pull off a zombie

`More costume idea’s to come`

Get your old fat clothes (if you were ever fat) and or maybe go to a theift shop at get some bigger people clothing! :A bigger person shirt + Pants add a few pillows and maybe be a "bigger person" for halloween.

Dress picture from
 http://margaretswanderings.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-prom-dress.html

Thats so gay is not okay?

Why so gay?

The meaning of the word: Gay is when a man and a man or a woman or a woman love each other and are physically attracted.

FUN FACT: The term gay was originally used to refer to feelings of being "carefree", "happy", or "bright and showy".

These days’ people (mostly children or teenagers) use gay in a negative way. “Did you see Carl today? He is wearing a pink shirt” “That’s so gay”.
Actually today, I’ve heard “that so gay” more then 10 times used by teenagers.
 I’ve went up to 3 of the 10 people who said “that’s so gay” and asked them what do they mean by that’s so gay?
Answer 1: I don’t know it’s another term for stupid I guess.
Answer 2: It means …. Uhh stupid or that it’s gay… I mean … I don’t know…
Answer 3: It means it’s stupid or I didn’t like something so instead of stupid I use gay… Did I offend you or something, I don’t mean gay people are stupid its just a really bad habit.   
I’ve asked some of my “gay” friends do they get offended of that’s so gay. Most of them are used to it and some even say “that’s so gay”
What do you make of it? Should gay men or women get offended?
If you think about it there are a lot of words that are like the same but they mean differently… what do you think?  

To be a zombie

Watching the walking dead makes me wish I went to zombie walk in Toronto.

I find that opening your mind and acting like a zombie and pretend to be one would be a mind opening experience. If you attended or went and took picture of the zombies comment on this blog id like to see them.

Everyday, I feel different
I walk down the hall feeling like everyone is staring.
 Like everyone has something to say to me
I feel like no one understands me.
and thats cool only people like me understand me.
I'm a weird kid not going to lie...


I'm an actress god made me to act.
I feel it in my blood. God made me to show people good.
He made me to be a game changer.
I know that.
Even if god isn't real I know im here for a reason.
I know when I get older I'm going to do what I love to do
I love people fun and active and I love having a camera on me!
I'm going to try to do more vlogs i know that i say that alot and i havent did it yet.
I look at Shane Dawson and IJustine ETC
I just want to live like them or like just go to work and do school part time.
like acting
working on a show  I don't know

I have big dreams....

What I'm thinking.

I'm thinking about

1) i don't want to work tonight
2) how im failing all my classes besides gym&Drama
3) how i need to find my dirty work uniform then quickly wash it.
yep all negitive.

besides all that my life is going well right now
sad but true.

Growing up

I've Lost alot of things since grade 6.
alots changed most of my friends i had back then either RUDE, To popular to talk to me Smoke to much weed and dont remember me and are obbessed with boys so they dont talk to many girls just boys.


I dont hangout with many people at the moment because
1) i don't care at all.
2) I don't feel anything

I don't have feelings at all, I feel so empty it feels good,. I like to think about NOTHING but just myself because all my life i've been caring about others then myself.

I see people walking down the hall that I dont like and I just give up. its probably the best but still
I don't care. I may laugh sometimes because I do that thinking of times where they stood up for me or something stupid like that.

Young Love.

Okay, So this isn't part of my sagment of the child hood thing,

I just wanted to say a few things on teenage relationship in high school because I walk down a halls of my school thinking its pathetic because i see this girl everyday with a different guy and I feel so bad for the guy because she just pretty much "loves" them till the next guy

For most of my teenage life, I've been single.
I dated a guy in grade 9 and man I actually thought I was inlove at some points
i'll explain. Lets call this guy i dated Johnny so people dont start talking....

SO Johnny and I started dating first semester In december of grade 9.
Our first time hanging out with each other out side of school was in november, We were just friends hanging out so nothing happened.

Johnny wanted to go see new moon, so I said I'd go with him.
 I will admit that I did REALLY like him,
While we were sitting next to each other in the movies we were playing footsy and joking around with eachother and then we stopped for awhile. Then he grabbed my hand in the middle of the movie then kissed me.
I had no idea that a guy I liked could like me back because that NEVER happened to me EVER. So the next day at school he asked me out I said yes. Well within the first month he had cheated on me,
and I was soo pissed because i liked him SOOO much and then I went to my best friends cousin house and we had ALOT to drink.
Things happened there and then I told Johnny what happened.

That was the beginning of our lying and shitty relationship
After that there was a whole lot of things that happened,
 we made eachother cry happy mad etc.
Then in the summer I cheated for real I didn't tell him then he went to the hospital for about 2 weeks, not sure why but he did.

 I was actually scared of dating him at that point cause i didn't want to hurt him anymore.

So after a month apart we got back together he went to his cottage and then I realised I didn't actually love him and then started seeing another guy while he was at the cottage because I was stupid.
When he came back, he called me and told me about his amazing vacation and how things were getting better.

Then I told him I couldn't see him anymore because our relationship was so bad and I said that I didn't trust him anymore.

A week before school I broke up with the guy I was seeing.

After that I never really dated again.
I think girls who date boys after boys after boys in high school are completely desprete because of the fact they crave love and they wouldn't know real love if it hit them. 
I think kids shouldn't date because they cant handle it.
YES Some can. but not everyone

 I find alot of things in high school you will regret and one of those things can be dating 'your first love'
because you don't know what to do and it kind of hurts and stings after you break up because you can't handle how powerful relationship can,

my first relationship scared me and I don't think I could handle another relationship like that and since then I don't date boys in high school...
I'm just saying its just really sad how girls can say they love a guy if they only dated this guy for 5 days.


Tell me what you think about this?
sorry for the grammar errors and such
i just wrote this quickly on my phone.

Short hair

When I was 7, I never liked being neat and tidy and do my hair nice like the other girls, so my mother had dragged me into the hair dressers and she got a women to cut my hair short. When I got out of the hair dressers chair I looked at the mirror then I started to cry I looked like a boy!! The women had cut my hair to short!! My mother didn’t think she’d cut it short like that… Since then I ALWAYS wanted to grow long beautiful hair, I wanted it so long so it could touch the floor but it never seemed to grow... I always wanted to have hair like the princesses I saw on television. I felt if I had long hair I could be a princess but I knew that was never going to happen.

I was always such a happy kid but the kids in my classes always put me down; they called me names and said I was a he/she and so much more they made me feel like I couldn’t be good enough or be pretty enough to do anything .

 I was never a girly girl so that’s why I didn’t have many close girl friends... I always dressed the way I wanted to and I loved to pretend to be famous or someone else. I loved dressing up putting make up on and wigs and just being happy, NOTHING could bother me when I was pretending.

In grade 4 I started gymnastics I LOVE going to the gym and doing shows and dressing up, I did gymnastics for 3 years.

Grade 6 I quit gymnastics because everyone said that gymnastics are for losers. The cool thing was cheerleading. SO I tried to join cheerleading it just wasn’t the same as gymnastics. I dropped everything and went into modeling. It was a good way to bring out my creativity, my mom thought. I did modeling for about 3 years and I got fed up with all the fake preppy girls, I quitted. I always felt like I was never good enough to do anything. I always had low esteem and I still do...

Heads up.

Hey guys, so for my next few blogs im going to tell you about my childhood and my expierences with bullying and bullies and just talking about how I got through it teenage relationships and tips on how to clear your mind thats all! So keep posted

Late night blabber...

Friendship grow
Friendships die.
something that is bothering me is that people liked me more when i was upset and always so upset.
when people tell me I changed in a certain way it sort of upsets me because I try to be the best that I can.
Changing is something that is part of you.
Changing will make you who you are and some traits you will keep and some you will drop...
Good or bad. 
Be yourself
change if you must.
theres always chances just take them

Kids will be Kids

I haven't lived for very long as you may see,but I consider myself as an adult because I make adult choices.
At age 16 you have alot of responsibility

• Find a job
• Get good grade in school 
• Chores 
• Take care of your self
• Get your drivers license. 

 as we make these choices to do the right things we also make bad decisions which sometime will bring you being more mature, if you decided to have sex then you will make the choice birth control methods or nothing
or if you do drugs you think will this affect me or not or going to a party and drinking till your green is a good or bad decisions we all know we wake up the next morning and saying "bad decision but it was fun" BUT some of these will affect horribly.
Most Alcoholics began drinking high school
Most Drug users had their drug in high school
and girls who have sex eventually get pregnant if their not lucky.
JUST THINK BEFORE YOU DO!! 
These choices if caught by the law will go on your record (Drugs and Alcohol)or if your pregnant and a teen mother your most likely not going to get a great job until you finish high school but you still might be flipping burgers for the rest of your life because alot of people judge! Its not you its just them thinking their perfect!


Trying to meet your parents expectations doesn't mean you have to give up your dream.
It means you should work hard to show them that your dreams mean more, one day your dreams will make you money and make you important.
Parents try to map out their kids life at day 1
But they never think what the kids want.
Maybe I want to be a loser
Maybe I want to be a Winner
its my choice
I'm never giving up on my dreams, I know people DON'T say that very much because we as teenagers GIVE UP easily!
we don't think we're good enough so we drop out of sports
we don't like math so we don't try!
We need to be cheered on!
we are like kids but we are just a different size and think this is how a adult acts.


If I was cheered on and people say "good job" and stuff like that I think i'd actually like math.

We are all kids in this world!

Steve Jobs

I've owned alot of apple products since I was 8.
 Starting with my 1st gen I pod nano I had it for 2 years and never had one issue with it then handed it down to my brother. Then I got the newer version of the nano then a year later I bought the new Ipod touch. I fell in love with the touch from the beginning the clarity and the thought of ruling the whole device with a touch of the finger it was so amazing to me.
 I've found that the world has lost a very smart and incredible man a few days ago because he had believed he could do anything, he always took things to the next level. He was also an amazing speaker he always promoted his new products with excitement and I think that’s what made Steve Jobs so amazing promoting. Steve was surely a business guy.  I’ve never heard anything bad about Steve Jobs. Always heard that he was so nice and he was such a friendly person and never looked down on others.
Steve will be missed by so many people. He was such a great inventor.

I hope Tim Cook will be just like Steve Job and make Steve proud!

My heart goes out to all who have been affected by the lost of Steve death.

Social Media Classes.

 Right now im sitting in comm tech thinking that there should be a course for Social media because
-people will take it to learn how to use twitter, facebook, myspace and other sites.
-learn how Social media is useful for a workplace business
-how you can stay connected within the world.

Twitter keeps you the most connected to the celebrities and can promote alot of things.
Like let’s say you own a pizza business
On your card or maybe on your receipt you could promote your business social media (Twitter or Facebook) and gain more followers or have more likes. You can promote your “newest item” have monthly draws and much more.

For example having monthly contest for a free pizza, because you’re giving away a pizza and lets say its on tweeter more people will retweet it BECAUSE they want a free pizza which is promoting you because they are retweeting you and more people will know your name because possibly they follow you or someone says “im having a pizza at #PizzaJoes” or something on that line.

MOST Teenagers RELIE on Social Media, they message their friends, they enter contest etc. if teenagers don’t understand the benefits of facebook and twitter and many more programs. We should learn how facebook and twitter could be a huge benefit for us teenagers.

will be continued.