Child hood blog

Deleted the Child hood page I don't know why. But here is the blogs from the page.

Bullying

I’ve had so many encounters with bullying; I was the new kid, the girl who cuts her hair short like a boy Man there were so many names I’ve been called. I don’t even remember them half of them but all I remember how much it hurt me.

In Grade 2 I moved to a new school with a bunch of new kids. Saying that I should mention I was diagnosed with ADHD in Grade 1 so when I did go to this school I was very hyper and always was talking and always getting on the teachers nerves I think any teacher I had in the past would agree with me but in grade 2 my mom got me up early to do my hair all nice and when I got home every night it was always a mess… I always did stupid things and all the kids laughed at me so I always picked at my hair. One day my mom got so fed up with me she dragged me to the hair dressers. The women was a Chinese lady, about 40ish. She put me in the chair. I remember this because the smile on her face was so creepy. She started to cut layers at a time; my mom was shopping for groceries so she couldn’t stop the lady from cutting it really short. By the time my mom got back to the shop. I was in tears. I hated my hair! I remember crying in the car. “The kids are going to make fun of me. This is your fault” I knew these kids would pick on me. I was in complete hell for the next 7 years. Grade 3 everyone used the word gay all the time. “You look gay” “You look like a gay boy” etc. I was hurt by all these words. I didn’t tell any adults or someone who could do anything…

Grade 4 I had a great teacher I respected very much I loved her. I knew I could talk to her anytime. I can say she was one of my two favourite teachers I’ve had in elementary school she was also my teacher for grade 5 one time walking home a kid had punched and kicked me I ran back into the school and told her. She told the principle and then I had to explain my bullying issues from the last 3 years. They didn’t do much. But I felt safer knowing that a teacher actually cared about me. Until my mom went for a parent teacher meeting and my mom told her I lied a lot about my homework and stuff other things… And then she didn’t really care anymore it kind of hurt because after that it was just different. I had a social worker at the school and I had my special ED teacher to talk to but it wasn’t the same bond I had with the one teacher. Grade 5 my parents took me to NEW YORK CITY. While in new york I got these awesome pink glasses just like Paris Hilton had. When I got to school the following week a kid told me I looked like “Elton John” I was sort of offended because he is a man and he is gay. But he was also my favourite singer and such a big inspiration to manys. The kid took the glasses threw them on the ground and then stomped on them. I told my mom I just lost them and she believed me. Grade 6 came. Man what a year. We went skiing, on a camping trip and many other things. I took showers every morning but I didn’t do anything to my hair which made it look dirty since I had really dark hair and it was short so it just looked bad. In the summer I switched hair dressers I had enough of the 20 dollar magic cuts I went to and switched to a Salon. The guy who did my hair made it look so great. This was the start of doing my hair nice and dressing better.

Grade 7, I was bullied because I hung out with dirty kids and my best friends were preppy & normal girls. I just hungout with who ever I wanted too. I was tormented because I was ugly and stupid. I started to cut myself. Someone found out then all the sudden the next day everyone knew. I was really embarrassed because that was my secret and people called me emo and wanna be emo. It was horrible. Then I started to mature at the end of the year and just dressed nicer and become friends with whom ever I wanted.

Grade 8 The last year before high school, the year went pretty fast the first part being bullied and then I started to hangout with nicer kids who accepted me. I was a little weird but they all found me funny. I liked that. I started to feel liked. Then I had to switch schools again. I didn’t go to the same high school as my friends I went to a different one so I could have a better education. I found out who were my real friends actually. The ones who stayed in touch, I had my first real high school relationship I made a lot of friends and I actually felt really liked by everyone. It felt awesome. Then I my friends and I learned that drinking was fun. I then gained a stealing and drinking problem. Stealing money from my parents so I can go get some hobo behind the beer store to get me and my friends some coolers, we go drink them and stay at one of our houses. One time I got caught we had a huge bottle of sour puss and a I think its called a 24 I think of vodka. It’s the biggest size. So yeah… I was at my old elementary school with my friends taking shots off the playground. It was pretty great until we had to go home my friend was puking and I was drunk out of my mind. It was crazy. My parents thought we were at a harry potter marathon because we thought we were going to be all night. My parents in the morning made us get up early and take us to Costco. We were hungover and we were so sick we couldn’t stand. It was hell! From then everything was alcohol till I realised I needed to calm down with drinking once in awhile I had a drink but I didn’t do it because I was sad. Then yeah… Grade 10, I lied about stupid things like drugs and I got caught and I felt so vulnerable I hurt myself then moved to a different school… from there everything was like hell but not as bad. Still being bullied but I ignore it. Ill write more about this subject on my life because I didn't really give you alot of things how i've dealt with all this stuff. so yeah Keep posted! Thanks for Reading

I'm going to make this page based on the short childhood stories I said I'd posted. The only one I did post was about me having short hair and low esteem im going to continue using this page to write about my childhood. FYI Some of the things at the end of the “Segments” I will say something about the now and how are things are going. Aswell I’ll be adding to this page every week talking more about my childhood….

Short Hair

- When I was 7, I never liked being neat and tidy and do my hair nice like the other girls, so my mother had dragged me into the hair dressers and she got a women to cut my hair short. When I got out of the hair dressers chair I looked at the mirror then I started to cry I looked like a boy!! The women had cut my hair to short!! My mother didn’t think she’d cut it short like that… Since then I ALWAYS wanted to grow long beautiful hair, I wanted it so long so it could touch the floor but it never seemed to grow... I always wanted to have hair like the princesses I saw on television. I felt if I had long hair I could be a princess but I knew that was never going to happen.

I was always such a happy kid but the kids in my classes always put me down; they called me names and said I was a he/she and so much more they made me feel like I couldn’t be good enough or be pretty enough to do anything .

I was never a girly girl so that’s why I didn’t have many close girl friends... I always dressed the way I wanted to and I loved to pretend to be famous or someone else. I loved dressing up putting make up on and wigs and just being happy, NOTHING could bother me when I was pretending.

In grade 4 I started gymnastics I LOVE going to the gym and doing shows and dressing up, I did gymnastics for 3 years.

Grade 6 I quit gymnastics because everyone said that gymnastics are for losers. The cool thing was cheerleading. SO I tried to join cheerleading it just wasn’t the same as gymnastics. I dropped everything and went into modeling. It was a good way to bring out my creativity, my mom thought. I did modeling for about 3 years and I got fed up with all the fake preppy girls, I quitted. I always felt like I was never good enough to do anything. I always had low esteem and I still do...

Relationships

Growing up you tend to gain friendship and lose friendships (as in friends or boyfriend/girlfriend)

Since grade 2 I’ve had my main 2 girls who were always there for me and always came to my birthday parties and went shopping with me and grew up with me…

Throughout this time we did have our fights but we always made up in a day or so. Middle school came and went then high school came.

Going to a different school for awhile had made our friendship seem stronger then ever even if we didn’t see each other everyday we either texted or call each other to see how we were all doing.

Since grade 2 I’ve only maintained a strong relationship with these two girls even if I called everyone my best friend in grade 7 but honestly I look back and I’d only had 2 or 3 girls I actually felt I had trusted and was able to call them a best friend.

When I moved to a different school I had more friends, more then I ever had.I felt things I’ve never felt before I felt liked.

I had a whole group of friends and had so many laughs and memories, I had my first real long term relationship with a boy and then everything slowly started to fall apart again. The summer of 2010 I lost grip of one of the greatest friendship I ever had, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. We all make mistakes some we can’t take back.

Later that year I did something so stupid, I needed someone who I trusted calling my two of the closest friends even if I didn’t speak to the one girl since the fight, I needed help they helped me through a tough time even if one friendship couldn’t be repaired, It was so awkward for so long.

Friendship with one friend grew stronger while one wasn’t able to change. It felt so weird I had to do what I could even if it went against my morals. I wanted to gain our friendship back. I tried so hard with every friendship so nothing could change because the last “broken friendship” was so awkward I didn’t want that to happen to the other friendships I had. Since last December I’ve been living in hell.