What this blog means.
Last year around this time. The 14th to be exact. I did something stupid that has changed my life. I made a mistake and I couldn’t take it back I felt so ashamed for who I was. I had a dream I don’t remember the date because who keeps track of their dreams… anyways
This little boy came to me in a dream… I was just confused about the whole dream I guess… but if you read my first blog (Below) it talks about how this boy talked to me asked me what I wanted to be blah blah blah blah blah then I asked him what he wanted to be he told me : said happiness, love, hate, betrayal but then recovery.
I didn’t understand… then I asked him why…. I didn’t really go much into the dream because I don’t remember dreams so much.
This year I guess I learned what this little boy meant
Happiness: After the issue in December passed. The Christmas holiday was passing I guess you can say. I had a great time. I had friends I made new friendship and I had forgiven everyone.
Love: through out this year I had love. I had love with friends, family and a boy for a little while. This love makes me go back to happiness. The love I felt from everyone made me go to school. The love I felt made me stronger.
- Then something horrible happened. I had to switch schools.
The love still continued until the summer where I felt like myself again. I was happy. I was proud to be saying I am Christina Hackett again.
Then Hate rolled in.
Hate: I don’t know what I ever did to deserve all this guilt and hate towards myself. I lost most of my friends for doing stupid things in the summer. I don’t know why. I think of how this even happen. I just really don’t get it. I guess I would have to ask them why to get an answer.
Now Recovery. Obviously I haven’t recovered from any of this because if you read into my blogs. My life is just a big rollercoaster. I don’t know. I want to feel the happiness again I want to feel the love I had taken for granted. I just took everything for granted.
One thing I learned from this year 0was don’t pity yourself even if your, your only friend. Don’t give up someone is always waiting on the other side… I guess Recovery might be a mile away. But these kinds of issues will make you stronger.
A year ago I made this blog to make my life change. Because I seen all of this coming. I had seen my life just falling just like it is now. I just wish I had done things differently.
- I just need to change I guess…
A little boy came up to me the other day and asked me what I saw in the future for myself.
I stood there thinking why would this boy would ask me such a question and what would I say back to him?
I replied to his question saying I didn't have an answer. I asked him what he saw in his future.
He said happiness, love, hate,betrayal but then recovery.
I asked him why he had said hate and betrayal.
He replied "we can't all be happy every day and every night."
We will have our good days and our bad days.
And there will come a day where we will experience someone leaving our lives.
We learn from everyone
Older, Younger even the same age.
I find we have to look with in to complete happiness because everyone will have a good and bad day.
I stood there thinking why would this boy would ask me such a question and what would I say back to him?
I replied to his question saying I didn't have an answer. I asked him what he saw in his future.
He said happiness, love, hate,betrayal but then recovery.
I asked him why he had said hate and betrayal.
He replied "we can't all be happy every day and every night."
We will have our good days and our bad days.
And there will come a day where we will experience someone leaving our lives.
We learn from everyone
Older, Younger even the same age.
I find we have to look with in to complete happiness because everyone will have a good and bad day.
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